Sweetest Moments
by StMomo
Summary: Life is nothing but a series of moments joined together. They bring the greatest joys, yet they also bring the greatest sorrows. But they are the only magic we have left as humans. A gift-fic collection of Ouran drabbles for VIVIANVAMPYRIC.
1. 01: Introduction: Host

_A/N: This is my little 'gift-fic' to VivianVampyric, who I highly recommend checking out. Hope you enjoy, dear. As a disclaimer, I do not own Ouran High School Host Club nor anything related to it. This collection uses the 50_ouran writing challenge prompts from Livejournal.  
_

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It was by accident that you'd ever found the Host Club. Well, that is, if you define 'accident' as having a horrendously bad sense of direction and the ability to mistake the number '2' for the number '3'. Instead of going to the second music room where you'd been supposed to meet your friend, you'd gone to the third music room and had stumbled upon the Ouran Host Club.

But it had been no accident when you'd entered the second time…or the fifth…or the fiftieth. You'd been amazed upon your first visit and in no time at all, you'd found yourself addicted to the delectably salacious atmosphere that existed there. It was Nirvana, it was Elysium, it was your own personal Eden. It was an ever-changing paradise where desire reigned with romance as its consort. And through it all there was always _him_.

Looking back, you wondered how one mix-up had managed to bring you to both the highest pleasures and the lowest despairs. Who knew that one simple mistake would change your life?

For better or worse, though? You still hadn't decided.


	2. 02: Jealousy

It was silly. No, it was down-right stupid! You had no reason to feel this way! But you really couldn't help it, your emotions had never been easy for you to control or ignore. And he most certainly wasn't helping matters any.

You glared across the room, pout marring your otherwise gentle features, to where he was – fussing and fluttering over Haruhi. His fellow Host looked anything but happy to see him. How dare he! He should be overjoyed Tamaki had even taken an interest in him, you fumed mentally. Without the handsome upper-classman, Haruhi would still be a complete nobody at Ouran and he did nothing but behave like an ungrateful brat. Not that Tamaki was much better, mind you. He was air-headed and obnoxious, particularly when he was going all gaga over his fellow Host and leaving his precious clients, like you, waiting all alone.

This wouldn't do…this wouldn't do at all!

Pushing a lock of hair behind your ear and putting on your best wounded-looking face (which really wasn't all that hard to muster, considering your current mood), you stalked over to where Tamaki and Haruhi were talking.

"Oh Tamaki," you pouted up at him, knowing you looked beyond cute. "I'm beginning to think you've forgotten all about your clients?"

He was so easy, he always had been. He needed to be needed; it was his biggest weakness and the easiest one to prey on. He turned from Haruhi and instantly focused on you, cupping your face and apologizing profusely before leading you away, promising you some one on one time to make up for his 'callous, cad-like behavior'.

You couldn't resist though, as he led you away, looking back at Haruhi, a smug look on your face.

_I won this time_, you mentally crowed to the other Host, who just stared back at you, looking politely puzzled. _You might be able to have him the rest of the time, but this time, he's mine._


	3. 03: Strawberries

It was the one thing that bothered you about him, the one ability he had that no one else you'd ever known had. No matter how angry or upset you were, he always knew just how to make you happy again. Yeah, yeah, most women would kill for a man who always knew what they wanted and needed and had no hesitancy in giving it to them…but not you. Because you knew the truth – that behind that seemingly sweet and caring ability of his was a darker, manipulative side, especially at times like now, where the person you were mad at was him.

"But, (nickname)-tan," you heard your boyfriend say, and you knew he was pouting without even seeing him. "I'm really, really, really sorry."

You just humphed and cuddled deeper under the blankets, pulling them higher above your head at the same time.

"Please forgive me?"

You ignored him, despite how very sorry he did sound. He didn't mean it.

"Please?" he wheedled. "Bun-bun really misses you!"

"Just Bun-bun?" you asked in a frosty tone, never emerging from your hiding place.

"Of course not! I miss you too!"

"Uh-huh," came your dull reply from under the blankets.

"I even got us some strawberries," he cajoled.

You paused under the blankets. Damn him.

"Strawberries?" you asked, unable to keep the hopeful tone out of your voice.

"Yep. The chocolate covered ones...those ones you really like."

Oh yeah, you could definitely hear the victory in his voice and it rankled you. Yet you also couldn't help yourself as you lowered the blankets from your head and glared up at him.

He was right – they were the ones you liked. Ripe, red strawberries all dipped in dark, Belgian chocolate. You watched…well, more like glared at him…as he brought one of the delicious treats up. The way he let the berry sit between his lips for a second before sweeping a lush, pink tongue out to catch the fruit; the look on his face that said he was thoroughly savoring the treat; the way he stared you down, a look of mischievousness in his eyes…damn bastard was teasing you. You hated it but at the same time…

Torn between the urge to strangle him and the urge to jump on him and kiss him senseless, you settled for simply glaring as he held the dish of strawberries out to you.

"Fine," you grumbled, taking one. "But I'm still mad at you."


	4. 04: Frills

Anybody and everybody who knew you were utterly baffled by just why you were so taken with him. Everyone who knew him were utterly baffled by the fact that he was take with…well, anyone. After all, Kyoya Ootori wasn't a man who really took to anything that wasn't beneficial for him in some way.

It mystified everyone how you, who was wildly romantic, kind to everything and everyone, and were so gentle that you were, in fact, a bit of a push-over, were head-over-heels in love with the calculating, manipulative and wildly independent Ootori heir. No one could figure out why, either, he not only put up with you but seemed to return your feelings, albeit in his own reserved and sometimes cold way.

Only you knew the truth. Your relationship needed no fancy words. It needed no wild declarations of love or fawning displays of affection. It didn't need any frills and ribbons, bells and whistles. And it most certainly didn't need anyone's understanding or approval.

It just needed a yin and a yang. Two hearts that beat in tandem, two minds that understood the other, two souls that completed each other, two bodies that fit each other perfectly.

It just needed you and him.


	5. 05: Subway

Your eyes flicked this way and that in nervous fleeting glances. You suppressed the shivers that ran through your body through you could do nothing about the goose-bumps that dimpled your skin. It was so crowded in here and dimly lit too. The compartment itself was small and smelt pretty badly of body odor.

How could people do this everyday? This whole 'taking the subway' thing was horrible, you just couldn't believe people voluntarily chose to travel this way. You'd take your car over this any day. You were beginning to wish you'd decided to use the car today instead of acting on this stupid urge to take the subway. Why had you ever decided this would be a good idea?

As the subway train lurched into the next stop and the compartment was a flurry of movement as passengers got on or off, you spotted him getting into the compartment and your stomach erupted in butterflies. You caught his eye, trying to fight back the blush as he smiled and made his way over to you.

"Ah, (y/n)-chan, I didn't know you took the subway?"

"Oh, Haruhi-kun! Hi! Umm…yeah, all the time. It's so nice, isn't it?"

Oh yeah, now you remembered the reason – _him._


	6. 06: Spring Fling

Spring-time had always been your favorite season, no matter where it was that you spent it. In Japan though, it was always magical. April in particular, when the cherry blossoms came and the festivals occurred. You'd always found such joy in those times, happiness that could bring tears to your eyes. But this year, everything took on a new glow. Spring-time was made so much sweeter when you were in the midst of a 'spring-fling', so in love. Even the cherry blossoms, where you'd found such magic before, took on the very essence of heaven with his strong arms around you, a rare smile gracing his features as he held you to him as you watched the blossoms. Yes, spring-time was always your favorite season for so many reasons. But this…_him_…it was the best reason yet.


	7. 07: Taboo

Some things should just not be done. They weren't right, weren't deemed appropriate. Society didn't understand them, didn't like or condone them. They threatened the strict morals which everyone was expected to abide by, the dogma that formed the foundation of a 'civilized' society. They were _taboo_.

But sandwiched between them, beautiful doppelgangers who broke some of the most sacred taboos, with a hot mouth suckling on your neck while another devoured your mouth and two sets of roaming hands brought you indescribable pleasure, you couldn't help but think that maybe the world would be a better place if everyone broke a taboo every now and then.


	8. 08: Heart Shaped Candy

Valentine's Day – the one day of the year where love reigned and relationships bloomed and flowered in the most beautiful way. Needless to say, being the hopeless romantic you were, it was your favorite day of the year. You'd been looking forward to it since the month had started, you'd talked about it so much that your friends were almost praying for the day to just be over and done with already and you'd been thinking about it nonstop. You were sure this was going to be the best Valentine's Day ever, especially since you had the perfect person to share it with.

So why were you grouchy, grumpy and plain out pissed off as you stalked down the hallway to your locker after school? Why else on this day – you were pissed off at a man. And not just any man, but your boyfriend. This was supposed to be a perfect day with your perfect, romantic, wildly extravagant boyfriend and nothing had turned out the way you'd imagined. Not only had he not given you anything for Valentine's Day, but he hadn't even acknowledged the holiday! Come to think of it, he seemed to have been avoiding you all day…oh my god, he was going to break up with you! You just knew it!

He better not frigging do it on Valentine's Day, you thought angrily as you all but tore open your locker…only to have a little shower of multi-colored candy hearts pour down around you. You couldn't help but smile at how cute that was though you wondered who could have done this. Once the shower cleared, only a few candy hearts scattered around the locker, a cute, fluffy teddy bear carrying a long stemmed red rose was revealed to be sitting on the top self. A note was propped up in front of it and you eagerly reached for it, unable to contain your excitement and happiness.

You had just flicked it open to read it when someone else whispered out the message written inside, the voice husky and the speaker's warm breath fanning your ear.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my princess. I hope you enjoyed my surprise."

Spinning around, you hugged your boyfriend tightly, cuddling into him.

"Oh Tamaki, it's…_it's perfect_."


	9. 09: Doctor and Patient

It was actually kind of funny, him being the karate club captain and all. But then again, it wasn't too often that he lost either, thus the reason that he was the captain, so maybe it wasn't so odd. But the facts still remained the same. Little Yasuchika Haninozuka was afraid of the big, bad doctor. You could've laughed…this was a riot.

"Aww, what's wrong Chika-kun?" you teased as the boy looked apprehensively towards the door of the medical room. Really, you had to figure out some spectacular way of thanking Satoshi for giving up this little tidbit of juicy blackmail.

"Shut up," he replied, face hard but eyes still visibly anxious. Not surprising he'd be able to keep up such a hard, calm face. After all, he always looked that way. You thought that maybe his face would crack and break if he ever decided to smile.

"Aww, is poor ickle Chika-kun afraid of the big, scary doctor?" you taunted in a babyish voice.

"I said shut up," he snapped back.

"Aww, Chika-kun, don't be like that. Just think – if you're a brave, big boy in there," you continued to tease before grinning lecherously at him. "We'll play our own little game of 'doctor and patient' when we leave."

Well, would you look at that? That stoic expression of his could change. And boy, could he get some damn red.


	10. 10: Crossdressing

Normally, you were a jubilant being, someone who skipped and bounced around from place to place, constantly smiling and laughing. But lately, you'd been nothing but doom and gloom and for good reason. Your parents were considering making you switch schools. They'd sat you down last week and told you that they were seriously considering switching you to Saint Robelia's, an all-girls finishing school as they felt that you weren't learning how to become a proper lady at Ouran – their not so subtle way of reminding you how much they disdained your tomboyish ways.

You didn't want to leave Ouran but at the same time, you didn't want to disappoint your parents any farther than they already were, having someone like you for a child. Worse than knowing you might have to leave Ouran though was the fact that since you'd spilled that secret to a friend earlier this week along with speculations you made (more to stop her from worrying about you than because you actually believed them) about how Robelia's might be nice and how the Zuka club seemed like fun, you'd been treated by her and everyone else you knew as a traitor and an outcast. You didn't want to leave Ouran at all but maybe it was the only thing left for you to do. You didn't want to stay here if everyone was just going to brush you off. You figured you'd tell your parents you agreed tonight…but you wanted one last day at Ouran and this one last trip to the Host Club.

Opening the door of the Third Music Room, you put a smile on your face, wanting this last visit to be the happiest one you could possibly think of. If only you knew…

As the door swung open, you found yourself gazing upon the strangest sight.

"(Y/N)-chan!" Honey called out, bouncing over to you. "Don't I look pretty?"

You could only stare at him, at the curly blond wig on his head and the frilly, beribboned dress he was wearing. Come to think of it, all the Hosts were dressed as females, some better-looking females than others (Mori, for example, didn't make near as good-looking a female as you would've thought he would while Kyoya looked like he was born female). And on top of that oddity, all the clients today were dressed as men in suits, smoking jackets, lounging sets…you even spotted your best friend lounging around in a football uniform.

"You look gorgeous, Hunny! I'd totally become a lesbian for you!" you giggled out. "But what's all this for?" you queried, sweeping a hand around to gesture to all the goings-on around you.

"It's Ouran's own Zuka Club, princess. This way, you can drink in the glory of that art form without having to transfer schools," Tamaki said, sweeping over in his extravagant gown, heels and wig.

Before you could open your mouth and tell him that you didn't think he quite got the idea of what the Zuka Club was, Hunny was grabbing your hand and looking up at you with wide, pleading eyes. God, he was so adorable.

"You're staying at Ouran, right? You're not going to leave, are you?" he asked, looking saddened by the thought of you leaving to the point where you just wanted to grab him and hug him to death. Instead a tear slipped from your eye before you dashed it away. Parents be damned, you couldn't leave your friends, not after this!

"Of course not. Why would I ever want to leave Ouran?"


	11. 11 : Sing Me A Song

It was your secret, how you lurked outside the music room, pretending to be occupied with something else, just to be able to hear him play. You didn't know who it was playing but you always knew when it was him playing. He was different from all the other musicians. He had this amazing ability to bring even the simplest song such depth, such amazing emotion, as if each note was some alive thing that laughed, cried or screamed for him, with him. He was so gifted, so amazing. And you were in love with him, despite not knowing who he was. Not knowing that he was Tamaki Suoh, the man every girl in Ouran seemed to want and the man you detested above all other, you'd fallen in love with him, your mystery musician.

You spun pretty daydreams about what he must be like; fantasies about what it would be like to have him love you back. Everyday, you swore you'd find out who he really was, that you'd go in and watch him the next time you heard him play. But every time, you found some reason not to. Would the world end if you went in? Of course not, you knew that. Maybe you were being held back by your own shy nature. Maybe you feared he'd reject you. Or maybe, just maybe, you just didn't want to ruin the fantasy, didn't want to find out if he was a disappointment compared to your pretty daydreams of him.


	12. 12 : Boxing Glove

Well, this was a new one. It really shouldn't have surprised you as much as it did. The Host Club was notorious for coming up with outlandish new themes and playing them up to the hilt. But this…this was definitely unexpected.

The club room had been transformed into a boxing stadium, complete with a boxing ring set up in the middle. The Hosts were decked out too; some of them in sweat suits and hand-wrappings, others shirtless, clad only in boxing shorts and gloves. Needless to say, you couldn't help but gawp, astounded by what you were seeing.

Your attention was quickly diverted though as an arm came from either side to rest over your shoulders and two different boxing gloves came to rest just above your chest.

"So what do you think?" Hikaru asked.

"Well," you said, voice hesitant. "It's definitely…unexpected."

"Yeah, the President's been all gung-ho about boxing lately," Kaoru replied.

"Don't know why though," Hikaru said, picking up where his brother had left off.

"Oh, Hikaru and Kaoru don't like boxing?" you asked, a little surprised. Such a chaotic sport seemed like something that would suit the boisterous twins.

"Not really," Kaoru said before leaning in to whisper in your ear. "But maybe we'll like it a bit more…"

"_If you get in the ring with us_," Hikaru breathed suggestively in your other ear.

You didn't even need to think twice.


	13. 13 : Mannerisms

Your gaze swept over the room, taking in the opulent surroundings, the giggling and swooning girls, the charming men. It looked like Eden on Earth, a place anyone would willingly sell their soul to be. Yet all you could think was 'how the hell did I get involved with these people?'

The girls giggled incessantly, swooned and flirted. In general, they behaved like vapid, air-headed, shallow women who had nothing else to do in life besides throw themselves at handsome men. Sometimes you swore the Hosts must spike their drinks with something because most of these girls were anything but those things outside of the Host Club.

Then there were the Hosts themselves, the biggest bunch of oddballs you'd ever met.

Tamaki, the self-professed 'King' was arrogant, narcissistic, overly sentimental and moody. That wasn't even mentioning his _unique _interests and harebrained schemes that always ended up getting him and everyone around him into crazy situations.

Kyoya…you still didn't understand why he was even a Host. He never seemed to do much Hosting. Instead he spent most of the club time handling business or selling things. Yep, ever the consummate salesman was the opportunistic Ootori heir. He was like one of those charismatic used car salesmen, the ones who knew they were selling you a lemon but didn't really care. A sale was a sale, after all.

The twins were ornery, pushy and inconsiderate. They had no concept of anyone other than themselves. As long as they got what they wanted, they didn't care what it did to other people around them. Spoiled, that's what they were. Not to mention their whole incest shtick was weird as hell.

Mori was an android; you'd swear it on your life. And Hunny…well, there were times you thought Hunny would seriously sell his own mother for sweets and cute things without ever feeling guilt about it.

Haruhi seemed the sanest of the bunch but even he was odd, with his lack of manners and tact and his blunt, abrasively honest way of dealing with everything.

Yeah, they were all a bunch of weirdo's.

But as several of the girls bounded over to you, their Hosts trailing behind them, and you found yourself a part of the talkative, happy, energetic group, you had to smile.

They might be wack-jobs and weirdo's but they were _your _wack-jobs and weirdo's.


	14. 14 : Cosplay

You smoothed the skirt of your Sailor Senshi outfit as you walked through the venue. The excitement was already near boiling point inside of you. You loved conventions, loved dressing up, loved meeting lots of new and interesting people, loved all the interesting booths and the funny things that happened. It was a guilty pleasure of yours, had been for a while now, and it was one that had stayed completely under wraps until recently, when you'd been found out by all your new friends at school.

Speaking of your friends, where were they? You'd been keeping an eye out for them but you hadn't found them yet. Maybe they'd only been joking when they said they'd come and see what it was all about. Where were they, where were they?

There! There they were, you thought jubilantly before you did a double take and started laughing. Tamaki had said something about making sure they blended in and something about 'fully appreciating the culture' but this…this was not what you'd thought he'd meant.

A Takeshi Yamamoto held a Momiji in his arms while a Sasuke and an Itachi poked and teased a very annoyed looking Suzaku. Gino Weinburg had found a corner and was sulking in it while a bored looking Komui Lee tapped his foot and talked on his cell phone. Around them all buzzed Renge, instantly recognizable since she was dressed up as one of the characters from the Uki Doki game she so loved. She practically radiated the same excitement you felt.

In the end, you never would've guessed how easy it was to get your friends to cos-play with you.


	15. 15 : Your Arms

It was never something you'd noticed in any of your previous relationships. But then again, your previous boyfriends couldn't even compare to him.

You hadn't even known that it existed, nor how all-important it really was. But now, it never left your mind.

The Fit – how his body felt against yours, how his hand, not too big yet not too small, fit perfectly with yours. Most especially though was how you fit into his arms.

The Fit was _perfect_.


	16. 16 : Hats

You'd hated your hair for as long as you could remember. Super-fine yet wildly curly, it never did what you wanted to and simply formed a frizzy, fuzzy cloud around your head. You'd been teased about it during grade school and you'd seriously considered shaving it all off but you figured that instead of ending the teasing, it would only make it worse. Instead, you started wearing hats. Every day without fail, you had one on to hide your hair. Your collection grew and every day there was a different hat to go with a different outfit. They were your own personal security blanket, like the ragged scrap of cloth a kid drags around regardless of being too big for a baby blanket anymore.

But at some point, every kid lets go of that blanket and you had had to let go of your hats too. And he'd helped with that.

'_You have such pretty hair. It suits you so well – always bouncy, springy, full-of-life.'_

You didn't care that he said such compliments to every girl he encountered. You didn't even care that he had no idea how much his one compliment had affected you. Because Tamaki Suoh had changed your life in his own little way and you'd always be eternally grateful for that.


	17. 17 : Candle

If there was one thing that could be said for your eccentric boyfriend, it was that he certainly knew how to create ambience. Like earlier, you reflected, when you'd went to the Black Magic Club room, a place you normally avoided like the dickens, on his orders. He'd told you he had a real special date planned so you had figured you'd just be picking him up there and not staying in the rather creepy room too long. Nope, instead you'd make your way through the most dimly lit hallways of the school to where a darkened car would be waiting for you and would take you to a dimly lit place he'd chosen for the site of your date. The lack of light, sunny places you so loved was an obstacle you'd had to get used to when you'd first started dating Nekosawa but you had dealt with it and learned to accept it as who he was.

You still weren't all that accepting of the Black Magic Club though. Although you shared occult interests with Nekosawa, yours were the 'healthy' kind and you were a practicing Wiccan who believed strictly in the Rule of Three and frowned upon the activities of the Black Magic Club. You didn't even like spending time in the club-room. It made you jumpy being in there…odd, yes, especially considering you were dating your polar opposite in all things and should've learned to deal with this by now.

But you hadn't. Walking into the Black Magic Club-room, gloomy, dark, lit only by barely flickering candles, was hard enough to do. It seemed empty and you felt shivers as you walked farther inside. Only for your shivers to fade out a bit and your 'aww' effect to kick in as you noticed the fact that your boyfriend was standing next to a black, but thick blanket spread out on the floor. A picnic basket holding a sumptuous looking spread was half opened and the whole she-bang was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of lit candles, giving you a bit more light than you were used to around him. His hood was drawn up higher than normally, probably for this reason.

Forgetting for a while where you were, you settled down with your boyfriend, enthused and pleased by his highly romantic, if a bit odd, date. At some point, after the food was ate and several glasses of the fine, vintage wine he'd brought was consumed, the two of you had started fooling around. Light kissing had led to heavy kissing and heavy kissing had lead to petting and petting had led to the two of you rolling around on the floor, trying to see how fast you could get each others clothes off.

It was probably because of this – being so wrapped up in the others that neither of you noticed it at first. In fact, neither of you noticed it even as you smelled the smoke, didn't notice it until the flames completely engulfed the curtain. And then you did what any responsible person would do – you grabbed your clothes and ran, pulling the fire alarm on the way.

You couldn't say you were quite looking forward to finding out how long a detention sentence one could get for setting something in the school on fire.


	18. 18 : Bipolar

You couldn't deal with this anymore. He needed help that you just couldn't give. You always knew, even from the beginning that he was a bit temperamental but you'd never realized just how much. He was so warm and caring and cuddly and cute – half the time. But he was also spoiled; it was his way or the highway. He really didn't care what you wanted if he wanted the exact opposite.

Your boyfriend was surprisingly bi-polar. He was half one person and half another…one half good and the other bad. You couldn't handle having to deal with worrying about when that bad half would come out though, it was so unpredictable. And the times when it came out made you scared he would hurt you, he was so angry and volatile at those times.

You'd urged him to seek help for this, to see a doctor, a therapist, anything. He'd refused, shrugged off what you were saying with a cutesy frown and big eyes as if he didn't understand your concerns.

But you weren't kidding when you'd told him he had to get help or you would leave…so you were. You were glad that he was gone, away at classes now. He knew you were leaving, of course. You'd been upfront with him about it when you'd told him he had to seek help or you'd leave, hadn't you? But at the same time, you didn't want him there when you left.

His bipolarity must be rubbing off on you – you were half afraid he'd hurt you, half-afraid that if you saw him sad and upset at you leaving, you'd crumble and never get out the door.


	19. 19 : Mother

It was funny – no one would've believed you even three or four months ago and many people still didn't, but Kasanoda-kun, your long-time crush, was not near as scary as everyone thought he was. Sure, he might look a little scary at times – the way he always seemed to be frowning and upset but he was really a gentle person. You'd have sworn it long before others started to find out as well. You were enthused when he joined the Gardening Club, of which you were a member because you got to see him more often than you had before though you still hadn't gotten up the courage to do more than have simple conversations with him. No, you were okay for now to worship from afar. Someday, you'd maybe get the nerve to tell him that, although she might freak out at the sight of him at first, he was that one boy you really wanted to bring home to mother.


	20. 20 : Martial Arts

"Good luck Haninozuka-sempai," you said softly, smiling at the shorter male. His match was about to begin and everyone was gathered around him, giving him advice or well-wishes.

"Luck has nothing to do with it, (L/N)-kun," he said to you, tone cool and business-like as usual as he rose from the bench and without another word or a single glance your way, headed to the mat.

You knew he didn't believe in luck. You knew a good deal about him, in fact, little tidbits gleaned here and there from watching him or hearing about him from others. He wasn't the most sociable person so you rarely learned anything about him from himself personally. You knew he didn't need luck, didn't believe in it. You knew he, as the Karate Club captain, was one of the best in the school, second only to his older brother, a fact he didn't like being reminded of. He really didn't seem to like his brother, though you still hadn't figured out why. To you, the older Haninozuka male, who looked quite a bit like Chika, seemed like a really nice person. You knew he didn't need those glasses he wore, that they actually put him at a disadvantage and yet he still managed to excel at sports and school-work.

You gathered and stored every little fact about him that you could find out. And yet he, himself, he knew nothing about you.

He didn't know that you had a crush on him, quite like many other girls in the year. He didn't know that you wrote love poems about him – poetry you never let anyone else read because to you, poetry was something secret and wonderful, something just yours. He didn't know that you hated violence, preferred being a pacifist. He didn't know you were scared and upset by angry sports and yet you had joined the Karate Club – because he was in it and you'd wanted to get to know him.

And he most definitely didn't know that the reason you'd wished him luck – even if he didn't need it or believe in it – was because you didn't think you could handle it if he lost and got hurt. Because you'd be just as hurt as he was if that happened.


	21. 21 : Kick the can

You had no idea how it had come about. Even more, you had no idea why in God's green earth you'd ever agreed to it. You really did know the answer to both if you stopped to think about it. But for the moment, it was just nice to wallow in a vat of self pity.

It had been Tamaki's 'brilliant' idea. Who else would think of something so decidedly weird? And who else would go totally one-hundred percent overboard on that one weird idea? Completely rhetorical questions of course. Anyone who'd been in Ouran more than a few days and who had half a brain could tell you that the only one crazy enough to organize a school-wide 'kick the can' competition was Tamaki Suoh. How he'd gotten the school officials to sanction it, you weren't entirely sure but you figured being the chairman's son had helped a little in that regard.

It had seemed like it would be lots of fun at first – three groups, with a team of ten from each year on a team. You'd really been looking forward to going to watch along with everyone else, cheering on your team from the sidelines. You'd never even thought of joining the first year's team, even though you knew they were a few members short. You'd never been and never would be an athlete after all. You were much too clumsy, awkward and ungraceful for that to happen. You tripped over your own feet even trying to do the 40 yard dash.

So how had you ended up on the team despite knowing that you shouldn't be on it and not wanting to be on it? Simple answer even though you didn't want to admit it. They'd come up to you and asked, those devil Hitachiin twins and you simply hadn't been able to refuse, as they must have known. You'd been their Host Club client for quite a while and you still blushed and stammered in their presence. It was easy for them to sucker you into doing just about anything and you would swear they took advantage of that fact.

At first, the game hadn't gone too bad. It had even been fun, a lot of fun in fact. You'd avoided being tagged out in the first round and nothing really bad had happened. You had only wiped out once and even then it hadn't been all that bad of a fall and hardly anyone had noticed since one of your team-mates had been approaching the can at that very moment.

It had all gone downhill in the second round. You'd avoided being tagged out, had gone for the can – you'd never stopped to think that maybe things had been going too good. Thanks to your own bout of clumsiness and Tamaki's over-eagerness though, it had ended really, really badly.

You hung your head and shifted in your hospital bed, nearly starting to cry. You couldn't believe it…you didn't want to think about it. You were probably the only person in the history of 'kick the can' to have not only broken your leg by sheer dumb stupidity but to have taken down another player and somehow managed to break their arm…

You just hoped Tamaki didn't hold grudges.


	22. 22 : Crutches

Well, there was one good thing about a broken leg. It kept you in the hospital for a while and out of school where, doubtless, you'd hear all about the embarrassing 'kick the can' game that had landed you with a broken leg in the first place. You were able to keep most of the visitors away, at least for the first few days, so you hadn't heard any recount on just how badly everyone was laughing at you which was just how you liked it. Unfortunately though, this also meant you hadn't heard anything about how Tamaki was. You'd heard his arm was most definitely broken but other than that, you hadn't heard how he was. You hoped it wasn't a bad break, that he'd be alright and most importantly, that he wouldn't be upset with you.

You got your answer though about four days into your hospital stay when you heard a bunch of commotion in the hallway outside your room before a nurse rushed in.

"I'm sorry, (L/N)-san, they said they had to see…"

Her words were cut off though as Tamaki himself strolled in, followed by the rest of the members of the Host Club and a few other people you didn't recognize. Your eyes went automatically to Tamaki's arm, which was lying in a sling across his chest, cast on and already full of signatures.

You blushed furiously, shocked and astounded and barely able to gasp out the question on your mind.

Turned out the hospital you were staying in was owned by the Ootori family. After Tamaki assured you that he was just fine and if anything, the whole incident was his fault, you found out that he'd arranged not only the best of care for you but for the Host Club members to visit often and make sure you were not only okay but that your spirits were kept up – at least until your leg was healed and you were off your crutches.

Of course, you'd protested, saying it had been all your fault, which in your mind it had but he wouldn't hear anymore on it. It was the least he could do or so he said. You knew you should've protested a bit more, made it perfectly clear that he was in no way responsible for what had happened to you and he didn't need to go through all the trouble of doing this but at the same time…it felt damn nice to be spoiled. You had to say you didn't mind being treated like the delicate, fragile princess he was acting like you were. Even if it was only until your crutches were gone.


	23. 23 : Apron

It was just about the cutest sight you'd ever seen. Haruhi, being the genuinely nice guy he was, had offered to help you and a few of the other girls in the class learn to cook. With his hair pulled back under a bandana and wearing an apron, you'd spend more time during the class staring at him than concentrating on your cooking. This inevitably resulted in a lot of damage to whatever it was you were trying to make (you'd quite frankly been busy drooling when he'd explained that part) but no matter what happened, he had a ready smile and kept encouraging you. What a sweetheart.

Oh yeah, you were thoroughly tied up to that apron string and you had no wish to be set free.


	24. 24 : Mathematics

Angles. Hypotenuses. Functions. Secants and co-secants. Terms and theories passed through your mind, never staying long enough for you to get a solid idea in your mind of what they meant. You had never been particularly good at math – all the definitions, the formulas, the theories and numbers confused you. You were more adept at the creative, unstructured areas like literature and languages. But mathematics were required courses for each year and somehow, despite all your greatest efforts, you were completely failing your mathematics course's section on trigonometry.

This wasn't good – this wasn't good at all. You couldn't imagine what your parents would say, much less your teachers, if you failed a course. You put all your efforts into remaining on the top ten list of highest scoring students and failing a course would most certainly drop you out of that list. You'd be so disappointed with yourself if that happened and you'd be letting down your family and teachers as well. You couldn't handle knowing that and so, as much as it killed you to do it, you sucked up your pride and did what you had to do.

"Excuse me, Haninozuka-sempai. I had heard you were quite talented at mathematics and might be available for tutoring. I was wondering if this was true?"


	25. 25 : Tutor

Sure, your pride might have been just a bit too high. Sure, it could've used a bit of bringing down and you had no problem with that. You could deal with that, damn right you could. But this – this went far beyond bringing it down into plain out, downright humiliation.

You couldn't believe you'd had to ask the Haninozuka heir for help. You'd never held anything but contempt for him. He was small and cute. Too cute for your mental well-being if you wanted to admit it, which you didn't. Those big, dark eyes – nearly the color of chocolate, milk chocolate like the kind he liked the most…wait, what were you thinking! It didn't matter how cute he was! If anything, the fact that he was so sickingly cute at his age was wrong!

You could hardly stand the thought that someone who acted as naively and as frivolously as he did was so much better than you at math either. But he really was – and he was a good teacher to boot. He'd made sure you understood everything for your test tomorrow.

You didn't like him one bit though. Not one teensy tiny bit. You were studying up for the math test because you didn't want to fail, that was all. It certainly wasn't because you didn't want to let him down…no; it wasn't that, not at all.

You certainly were a bad liar. Even when you were just lying to yourself.


	26. 26 : Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

You were born rich, you remained rich throughout your life and you always would, thanks to a very generous trust fund that you knew your parents had set up for you. You'd never wanted for anything and really had no idea what it was like to not be able to have anything you wanted. Maybe that was why you liked Haruhi so much, because it gave you a chance to normalize yourself, to see how other people who weren't so moneyed got along. He gave you a chance to stabilize yourself, showed you that wanton impulses didn't always need to be fulfilled. And as much as you would've loved to spoil him rotten, to give him the moon and the stars if that was what he wanted, he never would let you. So you had to be content to give him the little that you could. Someday though, someday you hoped that you'd be able to share your lifestyle with him as he shared his with you. If anyone deserved the 'lifestyles of the fabulously rich and spoiled' he did.


	27. 27 : Roses

They were beautiful, these flowers that the florist was arranged so wonderfully, but they were beautiful in a very sad way. You stared at them; the graceful arcs of foliage surrounded the _rosa canina_, the dog roses. You wondered if he even noticed he got them each month. You knew, from the work you did as extra-credit in the office, that the vase the florist sent them in was always set on his desk when it was delivered. You'd even set them there yourself every once in a while. But he never commented on them, not that you'd ever heard and you knew full well that there was never any card with them. They were always anonymous. It wouldn't do to sign your name and confess to him – he was at least a good twenty years older than you and married.

Chairman Yuzuru Suoh…he was beautiful, charming, a great deal like his son if a more mature version. He'd know the meaning of these flowers as well as you did. You wondered if he ever suspected they were from you…but no, he wouldn't. You weren't at all obvious about your affection towards him. There was no reason for you to be…it wasn't in the cards after all. Your love had to stay silent.

So the flowers spoke for you. _Rosa canina…pleasure and pain._


	28. 28 : Spider

If there was one thing you hated more than life itself, it was spiders. Big, small, poisonous or safe, it really didn't matter. You just plain out did not like them. You couldn't even explain why. Something about them just creeped you out. And unfortunately, you spent most of your time hanging out with your boyfriend who just happened to adore anything and everything creepy, gloomy or gothic which included spiders and spider-webs.

You were, in fact, in the cobwebby, darkened Black Magic Club room right at that very moment, ranting at that very fact. Why, oh why, did there have to be so many spiders around? Would it kill him to get a janitor in there with a broom to sweep up? Really, couldn't he just do that one small thing for you?

It was while you were ranting and railing to your mostly silent, though grinning boyfriend that you felt something brush against your backside in an almost gentle caress. Spinning around you glared at your boyfriend as he slid his hand back into his lap.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" you cried out, shocked. "Groping me isn't going to make me change my mind!"

"That wasn't what I was doing?"

"Oh? Then pray tell, what were you doing?"

"Knocking off the spider that was crawling up your bottom."

Instantly, you were shrieking, hands going down to brush at your butt as you cried over and over to 'get it off, get it off'!

Your boyfriend seemed to find this quite amusing, if his low, slightly crazed laughter was anything to go by but he did get up out of his chair…and promptly grabbed your ass.

"That's not getting it off," you cried, though you stilled in his hold.

"No, it's squishing it…it's dead either way, right?"

"Oh no! My dress!"


	29. 29 : Tea Party

The Host Club had an odd way at times of making you feel like you'd left reality and travelled straight into another world. The world was quite a bit like your standard reality and yet it was fantastic and unbelievable all at once. It was like you were Alice, only you'd passed through a door instead of going down a rabbit hole or through a looking glass. You'd shrunk and grew, changed shape and form at least a dozen different times and a dozen different ways. You'd held grand intellectual debates with the Caterpillar and you'd frolicked with the Cheshire Cat. You'd attended wonderful tea parties with the Mad Hatter and his companions…but you still hadn't braved the Red Queen yet, the Queen of Hearts who was in fact a 'King of Hearts'- of your heart though you weren't at all willing to relinquish it. With his devious smirk and cool way of handling everything you couldn't trust him…but then again, didn't every fairy-tale world need a villain?


	30. 30 : Straw

Fairy-tales have no basis in reality. They're simply silly, unrealistic, fantastic tales told to kids to entertain them and deliver some moral message to them in most cases. But really, it's funny how you can tie even the wildest of fairy-tales into reality, analyze and interpret until the tale fits whatever is going on in the analyzer's world at that very moment.

Rumpelstiltskin made the princess a trade – she'd have to give him her first-born if he spun all the straw into gold for her and saved her life. She was stupid; she'd traded without a second thought only to regret it later. Oh, how that rung all too true to you. Except you didn't know who was who in this sordid tale of yours. Your father, overbearing and demanding, the 'king' who'd married you off to a nice enough man, but not one you loved or wanted to spend your life with. You'd been so sad, so lonely and unhappy in your life and your marriage and he'd come back into your life, your high school friend with those same kind eyes and stoic expression. Mori had always been able to handle anything and he handled this situation just as well. He was your Rumpelstiltskin, spinning your straw into gold with touches and gently whispered words, with passionate nights of sordid love-making and mornings of tender cuddling and breakfast and conversation in bed.

Just like the princess, you'd traded in your straw husband for your golden lover. You just weren't sure who your Rumpelstiltskin was yet or just what they'd demand for your happiness.


	31. 31 : Limo

You knew Haruhi was more unassuming than both yourself and most of the people you knew, probably because of his lower birth. You knew he prided himself on being able to do things that, really, you had no idea why anyone would want to do – things like cooking for his father and himself, finding the best bargains when he went shopping, knowing how to budget. In general, things that you would never have to worry about and barely understood. You did try to understand why these things fascinated your friend though, you really did. But somehow you always messed up. Like now, for example.

You didn't understand it. Since you knew Haruhi didn't like big productions being made of anything, you'd dressed extra casually – none of your clothing was obviously high-class couture for instance. You'd brought a rather cheap and unspectacular gift for your gracious host, a 'thank you for letting me visit you and see how commoners live' thing. You'd even forbid any of your usual servants to stalk you around like they normally did. So why was Haruhi standing there, glaring at you like you'd committed some heinous crime.

"Haruhi?" you prodded, chuckling nervously.

He just continued glaring.

"Umm…is something wrong?"

Blinking a few times, he looked behind you then to your face.

"(Y/N), was the limo really necessary?"


	32. 32 : Ootoro

It was kind of cute – how it really seemed to be the one thing he really wanted to eat. Haruhi really was the type of person who really didn't care what it was he was eating, food was food and he was content with that. So for him to ask for something specific was not only odd but undeniably cute. Especially when it was just something as simple and as common-place to you and most other Ouran students as ootoro. Watching everyone rush around to try to make sure he got some was rather amusing too. You were just glad that this was one of the few times he allowed you, and all his other friends, to spoil him rotten without ever realizing it. You swore you all got more of a kick out of spoiling Haruhi than he himself did but hey…at least it was all in good spirit, right?


	33. 33 : Commoner's Coffee

You paused, glancing wildly about you. This was a new experience for you, completely alien. The place was bustling; so many people seemed to be crowded into the small place. Selves loomed everywhere around you, stocked with so much stuff that you barely knew where to begin. You'd never been grocery shopping in your life – your family had plenty of servants to do that sort of stuff – and you most certainly had never stepped foot inside a _commoner's _grocery store before.

But that was where you were right then and there and all because of one thing. Commoner's coffee. It was scandalous, unthinkable, and very embarrassing but ever since trying it at the Host Club, you'd developed a craving, a damn near addiction, for the stuff.

You were so confused and unnerved by your new surroundings though that you were having trouble finding any coffee period in the store. After a good fifteen minutes of searching, walking up and down different aisles, you finally found the aisle containing the coffee.

That's when another problem arose though. You stared, dumb-founded, at the selection of coffees on the self. What was the brand you were looking for? You couldn't remember.

Just then, you saw an arm reach up on your left side to grab a bottle of coffee from the self. Surprisingly, you found the arm offering you the coffee. Startled, you turned your gaze towards the arm's owner to find Haruhi standing beside you, grinning at you as he offered you the coffee.

"This is the brand at the club, if that's what you're looking for."

You smiled back unsurely, accepting the coffee. "Yes, thank you."

Small and trivial though it was, you couldn't help but feel as though Haruhi had appeared like some knight in shining armor at just the right moment. And you couldn't believe how happy that made you feel.


	34. 34 : Knee High Socks

You'd always known Mori had a real soft spot for cutesy things. You really should've suspected this little…fetish of his earlier, you thought as you tugged up the knee high socks that completed your costume. It was a surprise you'd planned for tonight, one he had no inkling of. You hoped he'd be too happy with the surprise to question why you'd planned it as well, seeming as the information that had inspired it had only been found after snooping through his computer and stumbling upon his porno collection. You'd actually been surprised to find porn on your boyfriend's computer. He was pretty reserved and straight-laced to be honest, though you knew full well that he did have his sensual side. The contents of that little collection of his had shocked you even more, then intrigued you, and finally had left you with inspiration for tonight.

As you opened the door of your boudoir where you'd been getting ready, stepping out into your bedroom where he laid on the bed waiting for you to finish, you made sure the extra-short skirt of the maid's uniform swirled flirtingly around you.

And you had to say, the look of undisguised pleasure and lust in his eyes made all the effort it had taken to get this night ready completely worth it.


	35. 35 : Bubblegum

You knew it was a horrible habit. You knew it was unladylike, unbecoming and bad for your teeth. You knew quite well that you should try to stop doing it. But you also knew one other thing. It grated on his nerves something awful, ticking him off like nothing else could. And why would you let an opportunity like that go to waste?

Pop! Pop! Pop pop! Pop! CRACK!

You grinned, popping your bubblegum one last time just for good measure; although you'd already done it so much that you'd driven him just about mad, if the heavy cracking sound of Kyoya's hands hitting the desk was any indication.

"Will you stop that, please?" he asked, his smile definitely not meeting his eyes and the tone of politeness sounding very forced.

Pop. "No." Pop.

"Stop that. Now." The smile was gone though the fake politeness remained.

POP! "No." Pop pop!

"STOP!" The fake politeness was now gone as well, a threatening command in his raised voice instead.

POP!

"Make me."

You heard him curse and merely grinned as you watched him stalk towards you. This was going to be good, you thought.

And he didn't disappoint as he glared at you, caging you in with his arms as he violated your personal bubble, making you feel both threatened and extraordinarily lusty all at the same time. His mouth claimed yours, heavy, hot and frenzied as he devoured you, forcing you to bare yourself with his clever tongue and skilled lips. You lost yourself in the moment, thoroughly enjoying the kiss that ended much too soon. As always, he was the one to break it off and he'd kept his end of the bargain – he'd made you. He grinned at you, slowly chewing the gum that had found its way into his mouth.

You just grinned back, pulling out the rest of your package of bubblegum and delighting in the way his cocky grin slid instantly into a frown.

Man, this was going to be one very fun afternoon was all you could think as you started chewing another piece of gum with a resounding POP!


	36. 36 : Clock Tower

If there was one thing you were afraid of, it was heights. You absolutely hated being off the ground for any reason and the higher up you went, the worse it was. You could barely breath, your chest felt heavy, fear clogged every vein and artery in your body, and you felt like you might die. In fact, you felt like death might be preferable to staying up high.

But none of the fear you'd felt before ever compared to the fear you felt at this news. You knew Nekosawa and his Black Magic club were up in the clock-tower of the school, holding some sort of séance. You weren't clear on all the facts of what they were doing – you personally didn't want to know, but you did know for sure where they were. And those boys you had just heard talking, a couple thuggish guys from one of the sports clubs, were planning on breaking up that séance and causing a little… 'damage' was the word they used but you knew what they meant.

Your feet flew and for the first time, heights meant nothing for you. All fear was chased out by something bigger than any fear or terror knowable to man – love. Because you loved your boyfriend and you weren't going to let anything happen to him.


	37. 37 : Sweets

No one would ever believe you if you said that you knew what it felt like to have a love unrequited, to always feel second-best to somebody. After all, it was inconceivable that you of all people would feel that way – you, who was always on the honor roll, who never had any problem with finding boys to date and who apparently had a perfect relationship with your first serious boyfriend, who seemed to have everything all together all the time. But it was nonetheless true.

Too bad it wasn't another woman you felt second-best too. You could've handled that – after all, you knew enough to know that you weren't going to be everyone's cup of tea and that sometimes, other women would get the men you wanted. You were grown up enough to accept that. It wasn't even another man. Even that would've been preferable, though you might have had a little more trouble accepting that one.

No, what you had to feel second best to were _sweets._ Sweets and a goddamn stuffed bunny. You knew Hunny could do well enough without you, regardless of the fact that he didn't want to do without you. But you swore on your life that if he ever had to give up his sweets and his toys, he'd be unable to handle it. And that knowledge damn well _hurt_.


	38. 38 : You're Under Arrest

It was amazing the lengths the Host Club went to top themselves. Each themed day was better than the last. More opulent, more creative, more wonderful. This one, though, this was unbelievable and you bet your bottom dollar that you were drinking this one in.

You'd spent a bit of time with each Host. It wasn't that often that that happened. You could, after all, normally settle on one specific Host but today was a special case. You couldn't get enough of how handsome they all looked. You'd always had a thing for men in uniforms and the police uniforms they were all decked out in were definitely your sort of thing.

As you flirted with Mori, you were surprised to feel a weight clamp down around your wrists, accompanied by a quick _click-click_ sound. Looking at your wrists quickly, you couldn't help but laugh at the twin's grinning faces and the handcuffs attaching your hands to theirs.

"You're under arrest," they said as they dragged you away. Leaning closer, whispering in tandem, they purred out something much more interesting.

"_Now let's see if we can find another use for these handcuffs, why don't we?"_


	39. 39 : Sandal

Romantic definitely wasn't your middle name. All those fairy-tales with their happy-ever-after's and those sappy, silly romance movies weren't your thing at all. They were unrealistic and they only encouraged unrealistic and impossible standards for interpersonal relationships between men and women or so you were liable to say. No, you were much more practical when it came to relationships – a man who treated you well was all you asked for. 'Why wait around for that weak-in-the-knees, head over heels feeling that might never come?' was your view of things.

So why, as you watched him kneel in front of you and slip your fallen sandal onto your foot, like you were Cinderella and him your Prince Charming, did butterflies erupt in your stomach and your heart skip a beat?


	40. 40 : First Date

It was funny – your relationship had started out with the worst first date in history. He'd taken you to a carnival that had come to town. You'd been creeped out by the clowns so much that you'd had to avoid the side-show area that he'd been bound and determined to explore. In return, he'd refused to go on all the rides that you thought looked so interesting. Even though you'd gotten along during dinner, having a good conversation and really starting to enjoy the date, that ended in disaster as well. Or rather, it ended in the worst case of food poisoning you'd ever experienced.

You'd been bound and determined never to have anything to do with him again. And now, two years later, you were engaged to him.

Just goes to show you though that, sometimes, the happiest endings can have the worst beginnings.


	41. 41 : Waltz

You weren't a fairy-tale princess. You were anything but and that was the way you liked it. You'd never wanted to be a princess after all. All the ones in the stories had been so vapid, shallow and helpless. You were a strong, independent woman and you didn't need a man to support you.

But those thoughts went out the window as the soft music wafted over the room and all your preconceived ideas went up in smoke. Because, as the soft waltz played and his arm around your waist, his hand in yours became all you knew as you floated across the floor, you felt like a princess. _And you enjoyed it._


	42. 42 : Foosball

Who'd have thunk it? Really, the whole thing was just so absurd. But it was really happening. Your hands flew, spinning and twisting the knobs. You were a foosball champion and you were relying on every skill you had to win this particular game. Your eyes swept the field, concentrating on getting the ball into the opponent's goal. You couldn't lose concentration. You couldn't lose plain out.

You'd known Haruhi was hiding something for a while now. You'd began snooping around a little, advanced it into snooping around a lot, complete with private detective before the Host Club had caught on to your activities. They'd tried to make you stop, insisting Haruhi had no secrets. You'd made them a deal – if you could beat every one of them at foosball, a game Tamaki had recently taken a huge interest in, Haruhi would have to tell you his secret. You'd beaten all of them save for Tamaki. It was all down to this last move.

With a quick flick of the wrist, you nailed it.

"I won!" you said happily, dancing a little victory jig before turning to Haruhi. "Now, please, pretty pretty please, won't you tell me what your secret is?"

You were completely unprepared.


	43. 43 : Gender Identity

To say you were shocked was an understatement. It had been a full week now since you'd learned of the truth behind Haruhi Fujioka and you still weren't sure how to deal with it. Haruhi had always been your Host request since he'd become a Host and somewhere along the way, cute banter had turned to a real attraction on your part. But now…

He…no, Haruhi was a she. She was a girl…so what did this mean for you? You'd been in love with another girl. And hell, wasn't it sick, you still were. You couldn't make the feelings you had for Haruhi go away, no matter how much you knew now. You couldn't stop the feelings and you'd spent the last week trying to figure out what that meant. She said she had no concept of genders, really.

You'd always known your gender – you'd always identified as female. But now that you knew she was female, you wondered about everything you knew about yourself. You couldn't be heterosexual like you'd always thought…you were in love with another woman. But you couldn't be a lesbian…you just couldn't be.

Even weirder, you'd found yourself thinking, time and time again in small, almost silent whispers in your mind, that maybe it would have been better if you'd been born a man so that you could court Haruhi, who was a female. Or maybe it would've been better if she'd been born a he…

This was all too confusing and you didn't like where any of it was heading. You couldn't deal with it, didn't want to deal with it at all. You started avoiding Haruhi and the other members of the Host Club. You stopped attending the Host Club period. You hid.

_Sometimes, it's just easier to silence that little voice inside through force and fear than face a change that one just isn't ready for._


	44. 44 : Roots

You smiled as you walked through the house. It was fabulous, beautiful and lavish and totally fitting your husband. But to you, the house was a lot more than just another beautiful object. It was a symbol of so much more.

You'd grown up an army-brat. Your father, a high-ranking military official, was a widower and a single father and though the two of you clashed on many things, you were the first to admit that he'd done a damn fine job of raising you all by himself, despite the things he'd had to deal with. Besides being a male raising a young girl (who, admittedly, was very stubborn and impetuous), there was also his work. He travelled on assignments so often and he couldn't – no, he wouldn't leave you behind with relatives. He was your father and he'd be the one taking care of you, not some aunt or uncle.

This meant that you'd moved around a lot throughout the years. It had always been a huge source of the arguments between you and your father. You hated always having to move, hated having to pack up and go to another place where you'd only begin to settle in and make friends before having to pick up and leave again. You'd been to seven different schools before you'd even reached high school.

Your first year of high school, your father had been deployed to Japan. It was his longest deployment - three years and during those three years, you'd made friends at the high-school you attended, Ouran Academy, and had developed a life there. You'd even met your future husband at Ouran. Shortly after your graduation, your father had received his next deployment and you were forced to make a difficult choice – go with him or stay.

The decision had been the hardest you'd ever made in your life. But it had been made and you quite liked the way it turned out. You'd stayed in Japan, gone to college, gotten married to your wonderful husband of two months now, Tamaki Suoh, and life was wonderful.

Yes, you thought, looking around the house. It was a symbol of something – it was a symbol of the choice you made and the roots you'd put down here in Japan. It was a symbol of the irreplaceable friends you'd made, the fond memories of joyous moments experienced. But most of all, it was a symbol of you and him. It was a symbol of the roots he'd helped you put down, tending his little garden well until your roots were damn near unshakable. It was a symbol of roots that would never wither and would last you a life-time, roots that entwined with his and hopefully, someday soon from the way he talked, with plenty of other smaller flowers.


	45. 45 : Bunny

You stirred fitfully. You were so exhausted and everything in you screamed at you to simply roll over and get the sleep you so desired. But the squawking and gurgling coming through the baby monitor tugged at you just as insistently. He wasn't crying, not quite yet at least, just fussing but it was one of those things that came with becoming a mother – you learned to snap awake at every sound, had the urge to check on your child with each squawk they made.

You'd gone to bed before your husband, too tired to stay awake. You hadn't noticed or felt him come to bed either, but then you had pretty much passed out and slept like the living dead. You flung an arm across the bed, reaching over to his side to see if he had come to bed though just in case. His side of the bed was cold though. Chances were he hadn't come to bed and probably hadn't heard the baby yet so you roused yourself and got out of bed.

Your feet padded over the rich hardwood floors of the hallway until you reached the nursery. It was a beautiful room, a nice yellow color decorated in a rabbit motif – your husband's idea, of course. As you entered the room, you were pleasantly surprised by the sight in front of you. You paused, not taking a step, just drinking in the sight in front of you.

Your little boy squirmed and squawked in his crib, little arms reaching upwards to try to grab the stuffed bunny his father was holding above him.

"Usa-chan?" you asked softly, recognizing the bunny as the one your husband had carried with him through most of high-school.

Hunny snapped his head around to look at you, gifting you with a radiant smile.

"Yeah. I don't use her much anymore and he seems to really like Usa-chan so I figured he could have her now."

You walked over to the crib, giving your husband a kiss on the cheek. The fact that he was passing on his beloved bunny to your son tugged at your heart-strings.

"I think he'd like that," you whispered, smiling down at your baby boy and curling into your husband's embrace. You couldn't help but think that you were the luckiest woman in the world to have the family you did.


	46. 46 : Father

Some psychiatrists suggest that all men want to marry their mother and all women want to marry their fathers and that they go about seeking mates who resemble, both physically and mentally, these respective parental figures. You'd always thought that was complete hogwash, but now look at you – engaged to a man who was exactly like dear old Dad.

Your father was a formidable figure, cut-throat in business and personal dealings. He accepted nothing less than perfection from not only himself but everything and everyone around him. It was a lot to expect from a child, too much really. You'd already disappointed him at birth, making the grievous error of not being born a boy. And you'd just kept disappointing him. Nothing you did or said was ever good enough for your father and though the only thing you'd ever wanted was his approval, even just once, it seemed with each new attempt to secure it, you earned only his disdain.

You'd met Kyoya Ootori in high school. He was handsome, charismatic, intelligent and charming. He came from a prestigious family and was well-respected by the male students, lusted after by the female students. You were completely besotted with him soon enough and could scarcely believe your luck when, out of all the females he could have had, he chose to court you. Your relationship quickly grew serious and soon enough you were bringing him home to meet your parents. He charmed your mother, earned your father's approval and respect during business discussions. Your father took more notice of you after that, seemed proud of you even. You'd finally done something right by hooking yourself this intelligent young man and for the first time in your life, you knew true happiness. When Kyoya purposed, you'd accepted without a second thought.

It was only after accepting the engagement that you'd started to learn how similar your father and fiancée were. It wasn't just the fact that they were both cut-throat businessmen. You could easily accept that trait – in fact, you found Kyoya's drive and ambition sort of sexy. It wasn't even the way they were both so possessive of anything they considered to be their property, down to the women in their lives.

It was the way they had, subtle but still awful, of making you feel like you weren't good enough. You hadn't been good enough as a daughter, your father made sure you knew that and now you were swiftly finding out that you weren't good enough as the future wife of Kyoya Ootori. Despite how much you tried to change for him, tampering out all the little habits and traits that he didn't approve of, you couldn't seem to make him happy and your own happiness had long died out.

One week until your wedding left and you'd finally come to a dawning, horrible conclusion.

_You couldn't go through with it._


	47. 47 : Money Talks

You'd always heard the phrase 'money talks' and boy, did you understand it all too well. You'd been born into a rich and powerful family and you'd seen early on what money could do for people and to people.

It was because of money that you'd received the best education at the finest schools. It was because of money that you'd had half the friends you had had at those schools. It was because of money that you had gotten him, you knew that now. Your family had obscene amounts of money and power, reason enough for him to get involved with you. His family had obscene amounts of money and power as well, reason enough for your family to approve of the match. And right now, you were banking on money to let you do what you needed to do.

You'd been taking out small amounts all week – nothing too suspicious since he was already keeping track of your bank account, as he had been since the two of you had first gotten engaged. When he'd politely inquired as to why you needed it, you'd cited last minute wedding expenses. But you knew the truth.

You wondered when they'd realize you had left, you wondered as your hand settled on the handle of a suitcase packed with a few important things and 50, 000 dollars in American currency. You'd already booked your flight yesterday under a fake name. Money had talked the airport reservation girl into that one.

Probably tomorrow, you thought as you answered your own internal question. Tomorrow when no bride showed up for the wedding. But for now, they didn't know and your way was clear of obstacles.

Oh yes, money talked. And this time, you were counting on it to whisper you far away from here.


	48. 48 : Stained Glass Window

It had been your first fight as a married couple. When you'd first moved into this huge, renovated old church, he'd wanted to redo everything, inside and out. But you'd fought him on it tooth and nail. You thought the place had such charming character and the stained glass windows depicting various religious scenes, which he hated and you loved, were true works of art. In the end, you'd both ended up giving into the other. He could renovate as long as the windows stayed, that had been the final decision.

Back in the present, rain lashed down in an angry torrent, pounding against those windows. Voices flickered in and out of your mind as you fought to block out the words they were saying.

"_Forgive us for interrupting your evening, ma'am…"_

"_Are you the wife…"_

"…_hate to inform you but…"_

"…_accident on Highway 41…"_

"…_come down to the morgue to identify the body?"_

You stared at the stained glass window nearest you, depicting the beautiful Virgin, the Lady Madonna. The rain lashed against her but she stayed firm. You must stay firm now too, he wouldn't be happy if you crumpled under such little pressure. He'd be so disappointed in you.

Funny though, just a trick of the weather but…it looked to you like, just for a moment, the Lady was crying too.


	49. 49 : Church

You sat on the edge of the hard pew, staring up above the alter at the Holy Cross. It had been years since you, who'd long ago given up the dogmas of the church along with your religious faith, had been in a church. The last time you had, you remembered, it was for a funeral. The situation repeated itself now almost ironically. Nothing like death to send you running back to the church in hope of finding peace and divine will, you thought dryly, almost bitterly.

This newest funeral hadn't been held in any church though. He'd never been religious, nor had any of his family. As for you, well, he'd become your own personal God somewhere along the way. Your fingers rubbed and twisted the set of rings on your left hand ring finger almost unconsciously. An engagement ring and a wedding ring – the perfect set. You hadn't even gotten to be his wife for a whole six months.

You heard footsteps as someone else entered the church but you didn't look to see whoever it was that had entered. You were still so lost inside you own grief that you cared little about anyone else's, be they a friend or a stranger.

It was only when the person who had entered sank down next to you on the pew that you paid them any mind. Even then, it hurt so much to look at him that you turned away almost instantly. You'd never fully appreciated how alike they were until now, when there was only him left, one incomplete half of a whole.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking and breaking.

With tears running down your face, you grasped his hand for support as you brokenly whispered back.

"I miss him too."


	50. 50 : Wish

It was unbelievable. You felt like you should be pinching yourself just to make sure this was real. Instead, you settled for running your fingers lightly along the smooth, silky skin of his bare chest. He groaned, muttering indistinctly as his big, strong arms wrapped themselves tighter around you, drawing you closer to him.

You had to smile as you looked up at him. He was just so tired. So were you though, worn out by the glorious hours of love-making that had occupied much of your day. But then again, this was your honey-moon and that was what honey-moons were traditionally for. Besides, you couldn't think of any better way to start out your life as Takashi Morinozuka's wife.

Sighing contentedly, you shifted your gaze away from his sleeping face to look out the large windows of your hotel room. Thousands of stars twinkled in the indigo sky and, as you watched, one of them blazed a beautiful path through the sky.

Shooting star. You'd never seen one but you'd heard, like everyone had at some point, that if you made a wish on one it was guaranteed to come true. Keeping an eye on the star, you tried to think of a good wish. It was hard to do though you felt so satisfied with your life. And then it came to you – the perfect wish.

'_I wish the rest of my life is this perfect.'_


End file.
